


Why Do I Write?

by blacksheepwoman



Category: Original Work, Tumblr - Fandom
Genre: Artists, Bad Poetry, Frustration, Humor, I Blame Tumblr, Poetry, Tumblr, poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-13
Updated: 2013-05-13
Packaged: 2017-12-11 17:39:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/801357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blacksheepwoman/pseuds/blacksheepwoman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The chaotic process of how I write and the anxiety I experience when I post my work up - expecting something from anyone just doesn't it'll happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Do I Write?

**Author's Note:**

> Do I sometimes just write near non-sensical stuff and make it rhyme: eh, sometimes. I usually try to have my works have some meaning - but this one is truly a crack poem. 
> 
> So I'm sorry for hurting your eyes, but I'm not sorry for writing it -yet.

-       _thud - - thud - -thud - -thud –_

It was short of amazing with the constant head-desk banging

            that I had yet split open my skull and passed out from loss of blood.

But at this point in time, it seemed the best with helping in my planning.

 

To be void of any motivation or be jammed with that cursed artist block

            and helplessly watching as the time mockingly ticked away on the clock.

Not only just attempting to compose is challenging

            but failing in doing anything productive or artistic is maddening. 

 

It always caused me endless jealously and frustration

            When seeing how easily others can whip out their inspirations

            and their works, while I have to wait it out like constipation.

 

\- Sorry for that disturbing visualization

           but I think it’s an okay analogy

           for my agony. –

 

But anyway,

            I just have to wait for an idea to hit me

            to my utter dismay.

But when it does, my chaos in my working goes very similar as what you’ll see.

 

Not actually organized or swift,

            But usually go along in the ways like this:

 

Let’s see, Let’s see: does that word rhyme

            with the next line?

Do any of my works have tempo, pace, or time

            like the professional and classical writing?

 

-       _Goodness my pillow looks inviting –_

But I first need to finish!

            I can’t allow a little drowsiness let me falter or diminish!

 

What day is it again?

Damn, keeping a flow of creativity can really be a drain.

 

It’s Done!

            Recheck: grammar, clarity, and witty pun.

 

Now set it up and post it.

            Dance around inside your mind or strut it out, but definitely boast it.

 

Then the desperate wait begins.

 

And the anxiety crawls underneath my skin.

            Better to leave and go do other things on my list -

like that overdue essay I needed to write.

 

-       _Don’t judge. It just so happen it was a class I had missed –_

 

Maybe I shouldn’t have waited this late to start on it tonight.

 

But whatever, I’ll come back after much hard effort and labor

            has been put into my slightly overdue paper.

So in about 15 – 30 min. later,

            I’ll find my cat sleeping on my laptop keys, the cute traitor.

After putting her rightfully in my lap and clicking on my site to check,

            I found no trace of a comment or a clue of a like or any activity-lingering speck.

_What the heck._

 

Okay – no need to fret.

            Maybe my post hasn’t been read yet.

Give them time. Just a smidge more.

            I didn’t put in that much drama or gore.

 

But it’s so different when posting your personal art.

            I suppose it can considered both an impart and a depart,

            in sharing one’s creation to all.

            Responses that can leave one for better, ready to improve – proud and tall.

_I don’t need to know if it’s popular_ , I would tell myself, but still any feedback or questions

            is undeniably treasured attention.

 

Staring blankly at my laptop screen with my mind starting to drift,

            I couldn’t help but wonder if my messages wouldn’t be so empty

            and if maybe my posts would be liked more if I had posted cute puppy gifs

            and those stick figure memes. 


End file.
